i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
