I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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