How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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