Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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