Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Randomize
