This is not my ceiling
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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