You smell like stripper and shame
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
even my farts smell like vagina
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
