How'd it feel making her break her religion?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
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