I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
