I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Randomize
