I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I puked a lego.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
