im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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