I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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