dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
