I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
