the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
