what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
