i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
