You made me cry and you don't even care
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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