Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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