the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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