i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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