Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Randomize
