The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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