You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
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