My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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