Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
