Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
