i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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