watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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