Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
