Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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