I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
