new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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