Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
