Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
