she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
