ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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