Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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