The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
