first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
