My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
