I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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