He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
