I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
