Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
