ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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