she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
