Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
