he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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