you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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