My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
