Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Randomize
