why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
