You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
