Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
