Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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