He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize