I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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