I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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