I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
