I can't watch pbs sober anymore
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize