Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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