He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
