I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
