I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
