3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
