were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I fill condoms, not promises.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
