Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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