Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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