allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
